The Dark Side

Good evening Everyone!   Have you heard the one about the sleepless night?  

I am saying “Good Evening” because I have had a sleepless night – or more to the point, my son has had a nightmare and neither of us had much sleep yesterday.

Every parent (especially mothers) will know what I am talking about.  We’ve all been through it.  However, I decided to write about it because there was a distinct reason for my son’s nightmare, and it has made me see, at first hand, why certain inappropriate television programs, some films and YouTube clips are frowned upon by leading child experts.

It all began one evening when my husband had returned from a trip to see his sister.  I knew that he would give a lot of thought and buy a useful gift for our son.  “I got this book for him” he beamed and handed me a red book entitled CHARLIE AND THE CHOCOLATE FACTORY.  I squealed with delight.  Some things never change when you get older and I confessed how I loved the book as a child, and had been taken by my school to see the film starring the wonderful Gene Wilder who behaved like and resembled the Mad Hatter in Alice in Wonderland.

Reading to a child is one of the best ways to get him or her to develop a love of literature and stories. It increases their vocabulary, teaches them listening skills and also, helps strengthen the bond between the  parent and child.  In India, most fathers come home very late from the office; they rarely see their little ones and so that special moment before bedtime is lost.  My husband gets a chance to bond with his son early in the morning or at the weekends.   Reading creates a magical moment between the parent and child where the child’s imagination can run wild and pretend to be the hero or heroine.  

So how did a wonderful story create such a nightmare for my son?  Well, you see, it wasn’t the book that was the problem.  It was media that did it.  First, a YouTube cartoon which showed the young hero and his grandfather drinking fizzy pop and floating to the fan as per the story.  

We innocently watched the animation thinking we were about to see the same storyline as in the book. But, UNLIKE the story where the grandfather and Charlie slowly float down after burping and therefore, releasing gas, the grandfather met with his end in a graphically gruesome manner with blood oozing from the fan!  I was so horrified and petrified that my son had seen this.  Quickly, I changed the video while my son asked me why the grandfather had hit the fan and was it blood.  I managed to assure him it was strawberry jam, and hurridly inserted the latest dvd version of the book.  I thought I would stamp out any disturbing images remaining in my son’s mind.  How wrong I was...

Mr Tim Burton had given a modern film direction of the same book starring his best pal Johnny Depp.  I would like to add that it’s not his fault that my son saw his work.  I take the full blame here.  But I didn’t know.  I REALLY didn’t know that he directed it, until the dvd was firmly inserted in the lap top and the credits began to roll.  “Oh God!” said the voice in my head as soon as I saw his name.  I knew Mr Burton’s style.  It is distinctly dark and can have sexual overtones.  Who can forget BATMAN RETURNS directed by Tim, himself?  I loved it because I am an adult and relished the atmosphere that he evokes – something that my brother’s Marvel magazines could not. As an adult, I could distinguish between fact and fiction, good and evil, light and the dark side.   However, even Warner Brothers felt it was darker and much more personal than its predecessor.  They were very concerned that the film was too scary for children. The film also portrayed sexuality in the image of Catwoman who wore a costume that was both skin tight, and befitting of a rubber party dress!

Children’s literature, fairy tales often use language and images to tell a cautionary tale.  Everyone can remember LITTLE RED RIDING HOOD's message (beware of wolves in grandma’s clothing)? Or what about opening the door to a strange woman selling (poisoned) apples in Snow White?  Isn’t a little caution OK for a child as a learning point; for example, don’t talk to strangers?  If there is a change of scene or brighter images contrasting in the stories, I don’t think a small child is burdened with depressing images, alone.

My child was so upset with what he saw and heard in the film, that after two characters went to get their just desserts, he snapped the lap top down with a resounding SMACK, and thus, did what I wanted to do from the start.  “Mum, it’s too scary” he said.  “I want Papa to read the book”.  With great relief, I told him that I totally agreed and certain films were not appropriate for small children.  “Remember dear, books are ALWAYS better”, I told him.

But all night, he insisted the lights be left on and asked me to cuddle him very tight because the film had scared him so much.   I realised how terrible dark themes in media can be for little children, and even how they are brainwashed with commercials while watching kid’s channels.  As my son slept in the crook of my arm, he smiled sleepily and said, “Mama, your arms are so soft.  Are you using SATIN SOFT?  It’s very good for Mama’s holding babies!  I think you used SATIN SOFT when I was a baby..”

After my son went to bed and fell asleep, I watched the rest of the film.  At one point, Willy Wonka (the chocolatier extraordinaire) cautions Veruca Salt, a spoilt child, to keep away from his trained squirrels.  He warns her, “Don’t touch his nuts”.  What is the purpose of putting this obviously embarrassing innuendo in a child’s film and directing this to a girl of not more than ten years old?  Isn’t it inviting her to do so?  I complained to my husband who’s face looked worried when I told him what I had seen and heard.  My son’s father read more of the book to him and it was the balm that our child needed.

Tonight, my son still asked if it would be OK to have the light on at bedtime. 

 “Is it going to be dark, Mama?” he said in a small voice.

“No dear, not if I can help it”, I replied.

Goodnight.

The Winds of Change: Inclusive education

This morning as I set off to drop my 6 year old to school, he suddenly quipped, “Do I go to a private school or a government school, Mama?”  A young child must be answered (as every parent knows) otherwise, you will get yourself in a Pandora’s Box of constant questions that lead to a headache!  

“Private school, dear” I said quietly, very conscious that my young driver in his 20s and educated to perhaps, 16 years in a government school could understand a little English.  

“But, why?  Why not a government school?” he persisted. 

“I’ll tell you later”, I muttered, under my breath to save any embarrassment to the driver.

“But why later, Mama?  I want to know NOW!” he insisted like a spoiled child from Roald Dahl’s “Charlie and the Chocolate Factory”.

The great orator and Indian monk of the Ramakrishna Mission, Swami Vivekanada, felt that “the ideal of all education, all training, should be …man-making”.  By man-making, he meant create a nation of character.  He goes on to say “I consider the great national sin is the neglect of the masses, and that is one of the causes of her downfall.  No amount of politics would be of any avail until the masses in India are once more well educated, well fed and well cared for… If we want to regenerate India”.

Swami Vireswaranada of the same organisation goes on to elaborate in his publication, MAKE INDIA GREAT.  He tells us, “We have to raise the backward people…we must give them education and culture.  Women should be educated so they may solve their problems without the interference of men..”

So, (coming back now to the embarrassing conversation I had with my son this morning), how do I explain to my son in front of the driver that I would be horrified to send him to most government schools?   Here, teachers may not arrive for duty.  They may use only the core language of study which is Hindi, or the regional language depending on the state, and lesser opportunities to use, or study English.  Here, the facilities, books or buildings may not be adequate.  Worse still, he may catch a disease if kids have not been immunised, or study in a place where mosquitoes infest stagnant pools of water, nearby.  How do I explain that my driver’s education and his environment for study was not good enough for my child, and more importantly, how do I dare let The System carry on, when I am a mother and believe all kids have the same rights?

The Times of India on Monday 18^th July, 2011 printed an article by Aaditi Isaac on how minorities can be brought into mainstream education. 

http://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/home/education/Minority-report/articleshow/9267038.cms

I quote from the article:

“Fatma Zakaria, chairman, Maulana Azad Educational Trust (Aurangabad) and juror, World Innovation Summit for Education Summit (WISE), says, "The three major factors of inclusive education are access, equity and quality. I feel we have not yet succeeded in providing even minimum access to education."

The 21st century is witnessing huge change in terms of the way education is being imparted. Providing inclusive education in terms of access, equity and quality is one of the biggest challenges that we face today in India. With the RTE Act coming in, there is a need to provide inclusive education to all.

Talking about the need for inclusive education, Fatma Zakaria, chairman, Maulana Azad Educational Trust (Aurangabad) and juror, World Innovation Summit for Education Summit (WISE), says, "The three major factors of inclusive education are access, equity and quality. I feel we have not yet succeeded in providing even minimum access to education."

The school dropout rate in the country continues to be alarming; the number of institutions that offer quality education is just a handful; and a large number of our graduating students — 7 million to be exact by 2020 as the Unesco report suggests — live outside their home countries in search of excellence.

"Inclusive education does not merely mean creating access; it also means a readiness to generate equitable access. Large sections of society, scheduled caste, scheduled tribe, other backward class, minorities and women and the demographically underprivileged masses, who have not reached the national goal of 20% literacy even in 2011. I look at inclusiveness as an empowering strategy. Our policies must be directed towards the empowerment and self sufficiency of the poor, the victims of caste, gender and ethnic bias," stresses Zakaria.

In a diverse society such as India, social transformation through education isn't easy. Elaborating on the challenges, Zakaria says, "We are a multi- pronged society; issues of ethnicity, caste, marginality and gender have somehow remained outside our policymaking framework. While marginal groups and women need special attention in the process of capacity building, we also need to generate awareness among the majority sections of society that contribute substantially to the making of the centre. The project of social transformation through education cannot be accomplished unless exclusion is systematically resisted against and inclusiveness is recognised as a national virtue."

Providing education that bridges the gap between knowledge and skills is the way forward. Talking about how people from marginalised groups can be brought into the mainstream, Zakaria says, "I do not see how that goal could be achieved if minorities, women and people with special needs are either left out or simply ignored. Only awarding merit selectively or supporting the poorer sections of society indiscriminately cannot remove disparity. They could be brought into the national mainstream by creating equitable access. It would be a wise step to nationally identify centres and institutions that have a long and time tested history of educating these sections of society and create special endowments for them. Also educational institutions that are managed by minority groups should be given adequate infrastructure and knowledge resources." “

R Narayana Murthy is one of India's most respected core founder of Infosys (Global IT giant) wrote, “A Better India : A Better World  .  In his book, he talks of corporate social responsibility and issues crucial to national development such as good values and the improvement of the education system.  He too raises the point that we must improve our overall education system else, there is not equal opportunity for all. 

Smart Talkers India believes in education for all, and we have two English speaking projects already planned for the under privileged children in both private and government educational institutes.  Those private schools such as Sanskriti School in New Delhi, who share our philosophy, already have integrated children from underprivileged backgrounds into classes.  They hold special classes after school as well for others less fortunate.  There are a wealth of charitable institutions throughout India who are already practising what they preach (such as the Ramakrishna Sharada Mission Nivedita Vidyamandir, Hauz Khas , New Delhi) where the nuns are dedicated to the educational activities for all children, including a place for slum children who are taught in the afternoon).  AAMRA, a social welfare project in Kolkatta assists bright children of sweepers and cleaners and paying for their entire education, churning out engineers and doctors.  Mr P Mookerjee donates all his free time after retirement, to the cause of this charity and sells his paintings to provide funding, too.

 

What about Neeve School, Gurgaon, run by the wonderful Shalini Malhotra who has ensured her children from the slums are given meals and educated in an English medium school.   Some of the kids are then integrated into mainstream private schools.  Shalini is so passionate about her work and does not earn any money from this.

I don’t feel change in India can take place in a radical manner; to accept new ideas will take time.  There are too many subtle prejudices such as superstitions, the obsolete caste system and class distinctions, plus the issue of empowering women through education, that still remain.  It would be better to make a gradual change.  Inclusive education will enable us to empower women and children.  One of the best ways to do this is to give them a voice and reading skills to compete against others, whatever their caste and class.  The trick is to catch them when they are young and, at the same time, impart the value of that education to their parents.

So, in an emerging market such as India, we no longer need to ask why the common man’s child is STILL receiving inadequate education, even after the Right to Education Act.  We know the blame game is not going to work and the process is going to be slow.

Perhaps we should follow some of the spiritual truths of the Hindus, from the Upanishads, which told us long, long ago to raise ourselves from ignorance, to, “Arise, Awake and sleep no more”.

Keep it simple, I'm bi-lingual

Hello Everybody,

I remember when my son was around four or five, his teachers in Gurgaon, Haryana began to focus on the English alphabet and phonics seriously, probably in preparation for the next years of his life where he would be introduced to the world of books.  Although he was equally familiar with English and Hindi in the spoken form because of his parent’s background, I did not intervene in “getting him ahead” for reading before he was taught the method at school since I did not want to interfere with the school’s mode of learning.

In India, educating children from middle class families means, invariably, your child will attend a private school of which you will pay all the fees.  Private education also exposes children to the English language often for the first time although teachers are sensitive these days, particularly for the younger ones who communicate in their mother tongue.  

Since India is a federal union of states comprising of twenty-eight states and seven union territories, the common language is supposed to be Hindi.  

But here lies a can of worms…

You see, India boasts many languages, including the Indo-European and Dravidian languages (which formed the basis of European language), including among many: Assamese, Bengali, Gujarati, Kannada, Kashmiri, Malayalam, Marathi, Marwadi, Oriya Punjabi, Sindhi, Tamil, Telugu, Urdu.

So, how many people speak to their children in THEIR mother tongue, too?  Hands up – me included! 

As a Bengali, raised in England (not from the Hindi-speaking Northern India where I have been living for almost 8 years), I began a voyage of discovery in the Land of the (soon to be) Bi-lingual Child entering preschool.  I asked, what are some of the differences and problems faced by young children in respect to this?  And how do we give them simple, meaningful explanations?

How does the mother tongue (whichever one it may be) influence those sounds and how do you manage grammatical rule differences in English and Hindi?  Do Indian kids pronounce the sounds differently to a native English speaking child, even though they have been taught using excellent, and modern teaching methods at school and if so, why, and should they be corrected?  After all, the foreign customers of the famous Call Centres in India were constantly complaining about not being able to understand their advisors.  My 25 years of international experience in training with recent customers in India, including VPs and senior managers made me also realise the impact upon presentation communication in even the later years and customer confusion over the same spoken deliveries.

Here are some answers to clearly a number of issues that our smaller kids face.  Firstly, the mother tongue definitely influences the pronunciation of the sounds and words.  If a Bengali from India was teaching English sounds, her pronunciation would be very different from a Northern Indian or South Indian.  Secondly, Hindi is a phonetic language – simply put for your child, it means: as it is written, so it is pronounced.  The English language has silent letters sometimes (eg. Knowledge – where the K is silent).  The stress may also be on the wrong syllable because of the mistake of the teacher which is passed on to the child (eg. Development – which in India is generally pronounced Dev-olop-ment.  Hindi has genders of masculine and feminine as in some of the romance languages (such as French) and the rules are similar, in that the gender of the noun determines the endings of the adjective and verb.

I believe these issues can be corrected and stopped in their tracks from the early years using many methods including online speaking dictionaries as guides for teachers.  Simple, short explanations to the children, and repeated correction of pronunciation could achieve an authentic sound for the bi lingual child in India.

Early Learning Earning

Hello All,

Have you seen the June 2011 issue of The Franchising World India?  It’s focus is on pre-school education, and particularly for “Womenprenuers”.  These women are often 30 plus, and those who have chosen, or had to give up their careers when their children came along.  At first, the joys of motherhood and being busy with Baby are enough to keep anyone occupied, but then, slowly, you yearn for a change, perhaps, a new career where you can juggle home life and offspring in the hours that suit you.  Then, sometimes, you begin to despair because all of a sudden, you have lost YOU – you have become a homemaker, wife, mother, daughter-in-law – and what a rude awakening when  you realise you have to ask for money from your spouse – and surely, you don’t have to do THAT now, too?! 

Sounds familiar?

While all the above roles can be full time ones and may be fulfilling, it is often not enough if you have been “an office girl” and had tremendous freedom of time and space, perhaps national and international travel and a sense of pride in earning your own money, may be even buying your own home.  Ask me.  I am one of those women. I can identify with you if you feel the above roles are not enough.  I remember reading the Sunday Times in London, UK before I was a mother, where the article was all about career women having children and not being able to carry on with their full time career.  It was good advice, since it said, “You can have it all – but not all at once”; this means, that you will have to compromise on some things if you want to raise your children with all the care, love and affection and good communication skills that can best be obtained by the child’s parents.

Franchising World goes on to tell us that the education sector is fast growing and has less chance of failure than other franchises.  ENTER SMARTTALKERS!  Here, you can become a franchisee, and have full training and legal advice to set up this business anywhere in India.  If you have pre-schoolers, they can also attend the sessions either at home where you may prefer to conduct classes or, if you wish, you may wish to use another premises and deliver there.

So, perhaps, the Sunday Times was wrong.  Perhaps making smart choices about your work with Smarttalkers can resuscitate passion in a new career, a fresh or developing direction in the field of pre-school communication and of course, give us back our pride in earning a wage.  May be you can have you cake and eat it, too…

The role of the mother in educating their pre-schooler

Hello Everyone,

When I moved from London, UK, to India about eight years ago, I asked my husband why he chose to live in Gurgaon, Haryana, particularly since he had been living in Delhi.  He told me that he felt the government of Haryana was a progressive one, especially in relation to education and females.  In light of this, I was pleased to see this recent article http://www.haryanaeducation.net/facts/ on the net.  I quote, "The Haryana Government is chiefly concerned about literacy among females. The female literacy is vital for educating the society, as children start learning from home and these are the females, the mothers, who need to be educated to train their kids".  I can relate to this entirely since I spent a lot of time on my child's initial education before he went to formal school.  As a Bengali and English speaker, I spoke to my son in both languages and my husband spoke mainly in Hindi.  We also read in English and Hindi (I am unable to read Indian languages, so the onus fell on my husband to read in Hindi).  I was able to impart this to my child because, while I was pregnant, I investigated and discussed with experts who happened to be members of my family, too (paedetricians, teachers, English language experts, and mothers whose children had good vocal skills) various ways to deliver information and language skills to my baby.  I also had the added advantage of being able to concentrate on my child while my husband went to work.  Smarttalkers would have given me the opportunity to raise my child's communication skills among other children as part of my own business - even from home!  I saw the results in my own child via his good vocabulary and communication skills. If charity begins at home, so does education.